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Three years ago, when I was in the midst of trying to take care of three babies, I felt completely disconnected from my husband.  Brad left the house between 5:30 and 6 every morning and wouldn’t return home until 6 at night.  Upon his arrival, he was expected (and willingly obliged) to help me get everybody fed,  bathed and ready for bed.  After all the work was done, we would collapse on the couch and stare at the TV.  We would always comment how there was really “nothing” to watch.  But we would sit there for an hour or two in a trance watching nothing!

As those days turned to weeks then months, I started seeing us as two trains chugging side by side down parallel tracks.  This wasn’t acceptable to me, because I saw those months turning into years, then decades.  Then, one day the kids are gone and Brad and I look at one another and say, “Who are you?”.  Maybe I was extrapolating too far, but something had to change. Continue reading →