Disconnect- for just one day

embedded by Embedded Video

YouTube Direkt

Three years ago, when I was in the midst of trying to take care of three babies, I felt completely disconnected from my husband.  Brad left the house between 5:30 and 6 every morning and wouldn’t return home until 6 at night.  Upon his arrival, he was expected (and willingly obliged) to help me get everybody fed,  bathed and ready for bed.  After all the work was done, we would collapse on the couch and stare at the TV.  We would always comment how there was really “nothing” to watch.  But we would sit there for an hour or two in a trance watching nothing!

As those days turned to weeks then months, I started seeing us as two trains chugging side by side down parallel tracks.  This wasn’t acceptable to me, because I saw those months turning into years, then decades.  Then, one day the kids are gone and Brad and I look at one another and say, “Who are you?”.  Maybe I was extrapolating too far, but something had to change. Continue reading

Change your mindset to reach your goals.

44547880This is one of the most important books I have ever read.  Based on what I learned from Mindset, I feel equipped to reach some of those goals that have eluded me for years.  And, as a mother, I have some new tools for parenting my boys so they embrace challenges and are prepared for any obstacles that come their way.  Read below for a “taste” of what I learned.

Are you a growth mindset or a fixed mindset?   Maybe you have no idea which mindset you might be, and you wonder why you should care.  But I assure you that the concept of mindset may be a game changer for you in almost anything and everything that you do.

The book, Mindset, by Carol Dweck, was suggested reading from my son’s 2nd grade teacher.  But this is not a book about parenting.   And the concept of “mindset” is just as important for adults as it is children.

The two different types of mindset:

The fixed mindset believes that your qualities are carved in stone.  We are each born with a fixed intelligence, capabilities, a certain type of personality and character.  These things cannot be changed.

A growth mindset believes that your basic qualities are things you cultivate through your efforts.  They believe that a person’s true potential is unknown (and unknowable) because it is impossible to forsee what years of passion, toil and training will accomplish.

To further the explanation, I will summarize an example that was in the book: One day you go to a class that is really important to you and you really enjoy.  The professor returns midterm papers to the class and you got a C+.  Is your initial reaction that you are stupid or you like the class less?  Or, does this grade motivate you to study harder for the next exam in hopes of getting a better result?

Now take that example and apply it to a situation in your life where your results were less than optimal.  Did you quit that activity or start liking it less?  Or did you rethink the situation and find a way to achieve better results? Continue reading

Newsletter for January

Screen shot 2011-01-16 at 5.01.27 PM

You have power over your mind – not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.- Marcus Aurelius

This simple quote has been a guiding force for me over the last 8-10 months.  I thought it was about time for me to share it with you all.  There are days that I find myself lamenting things that are out of my control, and I will waste hours on them.  What will my friend think of me if I have to cancel our plans?  I spend an hour worrying about it, and then discussing it with some unfortunate victim; but, all that wasted time and ENERGY didn’t change the outcome. (My friend was not mad at me by-the-way).  Just recently, a lady cut in front of me at Trader Joes.  I politely confronted her and she turned her nose up at me.  The nerve!  I proceeded to call my husband and waste 30 minutes of his time telling him the story, Continue reading

Let go of those things that hold you back.

UnknownMy sister sent me this passage a couple of months ago.  I googled the origin of the passage and couldn’t find an author to attribute it to.  Please take a moment to read it.

As two Buddhist monks were walking down a wooded path, they came across a woman in fine clothes that had stopped by a small section ahead of her that had flooded.

“I want to get across without damaging my clothes. Can you help me?” the woman asked of the monks.

One immediately hoisted her up, sloshed through the flooded area, put her down, and continued on his way.

The other, initially stunned, had to hurry to catch up. He seethed for hours and through the night. In the morning upon waking and resuming their journey, he demanded, “How could you pick that woman up and carry her across! It is not our business to be caught up in her troubles! What concern of ours to care for the state of her clothes? We are living this life to remove ourselves from that sort of thing!”

The other calmly replied, “I put her down yesterday. Why are you still carrying her?”

Is there something that has been holding you back from achieving your goals?   Let go of the fear.  Rise above criticism.  Chase your dreams.

She lives in you. She lives in me.

evanandmomA new year begins and I have been thinking about the next few interviews I will be doing for TheInspiredMom.   If you have been reading my blog over the last two years you have read the stories of some pretty inspiring women.  In addition, each one of you reading probably has an individual in mind who inspires you on a more personal level.  And I couldn’t help but think, if I interviewed each and every one of my readers I am sure I would find a story of inspiration.  Hence the title: She lives in you.  She lives in me; but, I didn’t just come up with these words on my own, let me back up for second…. Continue reading

Yes, I scrub toilets!

embedded by Embedded Video

YouTube DirektKristin Scrubbing Toilet

The other day I was feeling sorry for myself (although the video posted is me being silly): the house was such a disaster and I didn’t know where to start  my cleaning.   I decided to take a front to back approach.  Starting at the front door, I began picking up and wiping down everything that was out of place.  When I made my way to the guest bathroom I caught my breath.  Dirty hand towel (something I despise- I  must admit I will even dry my hands on my shirt if I am a guest at someone’s house and see a hand towel that looks dirty).  This time I was the perpetrator with the disgusting towel.  Easy to fix.  As my eyes fell upon the toilet I was appalled to see dry yellow spots on the seat AND underneath the seat.  When my boys were first potty trained, I had them following strict regimen of lifting the seat, then aiming carefully and using toilet paper to clean up any stray drops.  My own mom once commented on how fastidious they were in the bathroom (ahhh, pat on the back).   At some point my boys wised up.  They realized that there was no way for me to police their carefulness in the bathroom and they started peeing with the seat down and leaving drips for me, the only seated urinator in the house,  to  sit on.

Continue reading

Newsletter for November

logo_header-1

“Another word for creativity is courage.” George Prince

Creative is never a word that I have used to describe myself- until now.  I will even caveat that statement by saying I am “discovering” my creativity.  In the past I have seen myself as an analytical thinker- preferring math to writing, always reading to find answers, shying away from any job or project that required me to put myself out there to be judged by others.  The “no wrong answer” phase of my life started disappearing eight years ago, when I had my first child, and seems almost extinct as I write today.  Having kids forced me to start being creative: with questions, answers, playtime, problem solving….all of it. Continue reading

Mama Gourd

gourdosAny of you readers have your own gourd garden?  If you did, would it even cross your mind that a gourd could become a piece of art?  If you answered NO to both questions, then you are not alone.  That is why I was blown away by Lisa Meehan and her darling gourds that are as detailed and intriguing as a piece of fine art.

I ran into Lisa at a recent Hometown Fair.  I had all three of my boys with me, complaining that I was making them shop before heading over to win $50 bucks worth of junk at the kids booths.  I came upon the Mama Gourd booth and was drawn in…like a moth to a flame (wait isn’t that a janet jackson song?).  The minute I laid my eyes on all of these gourds, I wanted to own every one of them.  It is difficult to explain how special these gourds are: each one with their own personality, carefully hand-crafted, and competing with one another to be the most whimsical.

As I stood there contemplating which gourd to buy, I got to talking to Lisa for a minute.  As my kids touched and tipped every gourd in her booth, I panicked at the thought of one of them becoming dismembered (the gourds that is, not my kids). Continue reading

Rework-Jason Fried & David Heinemeier Hansson

62531032The other day I stopped in to see my web designer- Arny Pollack from Dice Media.  I needed to meet with him because he is always a wealth of amazing ideas and he gets me thinking out of the box.  About half way through the meeting, Arny asked if I had read the book “Rework”.  The title itself doesn’t give many clues as to what the book is about, but of course I hadn’t read it.  Arny gives me this surprised look.  Who knows why, I mean, in my free time I am over here reading “chic lit”- something that touches the emotional side of me for goodness sake!  But I took his advice and picked up this book.  I cracked it open late afternoon and couldn’t put it down. Continue reading

Something to read this fall: Shanghai Girls

76147497I might be late to the party on this one, because I recognize that this is a New York Times Bestseller, and many of you may have already read it….but if not, you should pick up Shanhai Girls by Lisa See.  The story is about two Chinese sisters- who initially led a life of privilege.  However, their father gambles away all of their wealth and to repay his debts, he sells the girls to suitors who have traveled from Los Angeles to find Chinese brides.  The story of the girls journey is captivating and realistic.  I loved all the factual references in this book.  Lisa See also wrote Snowflower and the Secret Fan; another favorite book of mine.  Great news: you can buy both of these books at {Pages} a bookstore in Manhattan Beach, that’s where I got mine.